Monday, July 6, 2015

Reboot Monday


This is week 17 of my Weight Watcher journey.

This morning, I weighed in at 283, which is one pound less than when I originally started. Obviously, I am not totally on board with the program. In fact, I took an entire week off from tracking last week.

I'm not sure exactly why it is not working for me other than the fact that I am not totally dedicated to this journey. I want to be, but it takes up so much energy and time, then when I blow through my points I just feel like a failure.

I think I'm going to concentrate more on the exercise portion of things. I've ordered two more pairs of Danskins activewear (exercise) pants so that I won't have to worry about getting the pair I just wore into the wash right away after I exercise (otherwise I forget). I also ordered some new bras, so my entire workout outfit will be sitting there ready to go when I am.

I'm still debating about joining a fitness place. There are some other options besides Planet Fitness. I just don't know if they are a good fit for me. I'd rather walk, but with the Georgia heat I'm just not sure if that is an option.

Anyway, still moving forward - just at a slower pace.

Until next time~

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Refocus and Regroup

I have fallen off the proverbial wagon this week.

I know it is just another round of excuses I am coming up with, but after not having an opportunity to plan for this week's menu, I finally decided "scr*w it" and got a few things to eat this week that I have been trying to stay away from. Mainly...pasta and more pasta. I made spaghetti on Monday night and also have macaroni and cheese on the menu for tonight. Both are trigger foods, which means I will eat them until I am stuffed.

Of course, the failure to have a planned menu isn't the actual reason. It's more an accumulation of having your husband telling you that you don't follow through with anything and then telling me that I buy things and then don't use them and that I was wasting money. It was like, as soon as he put the words out there I just gave up. 

You see, we were going to get a BBQ grill for our anniversary. I thought this would be a good way to make some healthy foods (I'm not going to think about the carcinogens that supposedly grilled food can contain) and maybe instead of eating out on Saturday, we would just make it a habit to grill outside instead. This in turn, brought on this long speech by The Hubby in which I was reminded of all these projects that I haven't done and things I say I'm going to do and don't.

And, yeah...he does have somewhat of a point, but I also feel that a lot of it happens because I have that in the back of my mind that I'm going to fail because he said I would. And...yeah, I know that doesn't make sense on a logical level, but after a while when people tell you that you're a failure, you just start believing it.

After that I decided to give myself a week off. Next week, I had planned on becoming a member of Planet Fitness and basically starting over, but now I think I will have to come up with something else since I stopped there to take a tour and discovered that the place is a hangout for the teenage crowd. I just can't see me going up there to walk the treadmill with a bunch of young girls socializing there. I know that Planet Fitness is suppose to be a no-judgement zone, but it didn't feel comfortable, so I know I wouldn't keep going. I am now looking into a couple of other fitness places and am even thinking about how to fit in some walks later in the evening.

Anyway, I will figure it all out, just maybe not this week.

Until next time~






Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Talk Tuesday: Weight Watchers - Week 15

I weighed in on Monday and realized I was on Week 15 of Weight Watchers. While most people who make it that long have now lost between 10 and 20 pounds, I have officially lost....

One.

That's it.

One.

On March 9, I started at 284. From there it went...
283.5
282.5
281.0
284.5
283.0
287.0
286.5
285.5
288.0
285.5
289.0
286.0
284.0
283.0 - June 22

What does this tell us? Well, it tells us that I have not been committed to losing weight. I may walk the walk and talk the talk, but this has not been a serious attempt.

Instead, this is like every other time I have joined Weight Watchers. I love the concept of the points and the plan, but in reality, I haven't been wanting to follow it.

Until now...at least.

This week, I did my meal planning on Saturday and with the exception of lunch and dinner on Saturday and Sunday, I know exactly how many points I have in everything I plan to eat. For those two days, I have 32 points each day after breakfast and my plan is to find food that stays within that range.

I'm also seeing two other changes that need to be made. I think I need to really consider going to WW meetings and...more importantly...I've got to commit to exercise. I mean really commit. I either want this or I don't.

The problem is, I will really need to get my schedule figure out because at the moment, I am just not getting what I need to get done and if I throw two more things into the mix, well, it's going to make my schedule a whole lot tighter.

Anyway, for this week...I am concentrating on food. After that, it's time to get serious with the rest of it.

Until next time~








Friday, June 19, 2015

Frazzled Friday: What Thin People Just Don't Understand

This morning, I was originally going to blog about my decision to join a gym. After a discussion with The Hubby, however, I want to talk about something else.

If you have never been overweight, you are never going to understand what we (the heavy, fat, overweight, large people)  go through or how we are feeling. You're not going to understand why it's hard to commit to a diet, lifestyle change, or exercise program. You're not going to understand that when we do commit, it's all we think about.


And...I'm not talking about food. I'm talking about the entire process.

We have to plan for meals. We beat ourselves up when we miss our workouts or don't go walking. We  have to fight not to quit when we keep having gains on the scale even though we know we have been doing what we are suppose to. For the overweight, nothing is ever good enough until all that weight comes off. Which takes months, if not years to do and sometimes never happens at all.

Where I am going with all of this is that it really doesn't help when you talk to an overweight person and start a sentence with "all you need to do is (fill in the blank)."

Let's see...there's....

Get up earlier to exercise
Eat less
Eat less, move more
Skip dessert
Exercise
Have some willpower
Have some self-control
Have some self-discipline

As you might have guessed, this is what happened to me today while The Hubby and I were talking this morning. The sentence bestowed to me by my husband was.... "All you need to do is go to bed earlier so you can get up earlier to exercise."



:-(

:-(  :-(  :-(

Did this simple little sentence said as a way to solve my years of weight loss problems, help me or make me want to go binge on a box of doughnuts?

How do you explain to someone who hasn't gone through it that--- NO, that is not all that it takes. It takes going deep within yourself and deciding whether it's all worth it. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes we want it. Sometimes we think we are just too broken to even bother.

Anyway, I'm not throwing in the towel or giving up. I am, however, in a "mood" and not one that I like. Yeah, I'll get over it, but I'm going to have to dig pretty deep within to keep this weight loss commitment moving forward.

:-/

Until next time~








Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Back to where I began

I started blogging yesterday and then just deleted it. I really wasn't saying anything new. Just more of the same.

I weighed in on Monday and I am back to where I initially was when I restarted Weight Watchers. That's 14 weeks of going up the scale and back down it with absolutely nothing to show for it. I'm exactly back to where I began.

I wonder what is wrong with me. How do all these people do the plan and lose the weight while I get absolutely nowhere? I want to lose, but I can't seem to commit to it. It's not my first priority.

I want to join a gym since it has gotten so ridiculously hot here, but I'm afraid I won't go. I think about attending Weight Watcher meetings, but I don't want to spend the extra money and get nothing out of it.

I...am...stuck.

I know I need to make this commitment and as Nike likes to say.... Just Do It! Yet, I hesitate and put it off and continue to get absolutely nowhere except back where I began.

Yet...I need to do something. I will go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks and have nothing to show for it. It's time to decide. Do I get with the plan or do I let him put me on medication since I am inviting diabetes into my life along with high blood pressure and cholesterol. I know the answer seems so incredibly simple, yet...why do I still not do what needs to be done?

Anyway, that's where I'm at today. That's all I got.

Until next time~ 

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Stumbling...

I have got a bit off track this week...literally.

I stopped tracking my food on Monday night after ordering Chinese and never started back. I'm not sure why I've had this setback other than I wasn't sure how much I ate, so I wasn't sure how many points to count.

I also flaked out on walking yesterday.

It's very frustrating because I see all these people doing Weight Watchers and losing, yet...I can't seem to embrace the lifestyle 100%. I just want my cake and I want to eat it too.

I'm not giving up, but I am going to have to sit down and really think about this and what the problem is. I want to lose the weight. I just...I don't know.

This morning, The Hubby mentioned a woman that works for some of the agents in his office. He kind of compares her weight struggles to mine because she has gained and lost several times since he met her. Apparently, at the moment she has lost 80 pounds. He comments "maybe you could talk to her and find out what she's doing..."

Ummmm, no.

I already know what she is doing. She is a FitBit addict and apparently has figured out she needs to eat less and move more.

Yet, here I sit. Still playing with the same three or four pounds. Up, down, up, down.

Why can't I do this?

Anyway, at the moment I'm kind of like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off.

"Maybe I should try going to the Weight Watcher meetings..."
"Maybe I need to make a better point of walking..."
"Maybe I need to do this or do that..."

I'm not sure what direction I'm going to head in, but somehow, someway...I'm going to do this.

Until next time~