Friday, July 31, 2015

Freefall Friday: A Disrupted Week

If you were to ask, I would tell you that I like to be spontaneous. I get bored with routine and I think that is one of the reasons I fall off track so much.

That being said, I apparently need structure because this week fail completely off the rail in every way, shape and form.

It all started on Monday, which was to be my gym day, but I had agreed to do some pet sits this week and I basically just ran out of time to get everything done and get to the gym. (At the moment, I can only go there during certain hours because I'm not a member and someone from management has to let me in and punch my little card.)

Tuesday was more of the same (pet sit, work) and then Wednesday...I woke up with a migraine. Yep. That made the whole day go down in flames. No work accomplished, no gym, not food tracking, just existing and the pet sits (at least some money is coming in...). Thursday was more of the same (headache, little work done, pet sits). Adding to the fun, I had two pet sits, so we were eating dinner around 10 p.m.. I got to bed late, got up late this morning and....ta I's almost 2 p.m. and I have yet to have even made it upstairs to take a shower (going in a minute).

I have more pet sits next week. I have decided that I will try to make things simple for myself. I'm not going to worry about working out (I am getting plenty of steps with the pet sitting so at least I am MOVING a lot!). I'm not going to worry about tracking. I'm going to plan fast simple meals that can be made quickly. Not junk, but no new recipes and I may rely on a processed food item or two...or three..

Next week, it's all about survival.

The following week though...something must be done. Not just about the weight, but about my work routine and making the time for myself.

But....I'm not going to think about that now. I'm just going to take things one step, one hour, one day at a time.


Monday, July 27, 2015

Do This - Not That

Last week, I posted a rather innocuous post on a Weight Watcher Facebook pages stating that I was struggling with "the plan," or rather, sticking to my Point count and more particularly that I had trouble when it comes to the planning part of things.

I got a lot of "me too" comments, but then I also got a lot of "just do this" and "don't do that" posts. One in particular said "don't try to plan for more than three or four days." I almost replied "well, that's what got me into this mess," but I just decided I wouldn't comment at all and wait for my post to get bumped down on the page so the comments would stop.

The funny thing was, it was a lot of contradictory responses.

"Plan every meal."

"Just take each meal by itself - don't plan."

"Try not to use your weekly points."

"Use your weekly points - that's what they are there for...."

The thing I realized is that basically you  have to figure out what works for you. Maybe you have to be super strict. Maybe you need your plan to be more flexible. Maybe it's okay to use all those points or maybe it's not. The main thing is, you have to find something that is doable and won't drive you crazy.

What I'm realizing from all of this is that I'm not so sure that point counting is for me. Or...maybe at least right now it's not. This puts me back to trying Simply Filling again and I'm not sure that works for me either. I don't know. I'm not giving up on figuring this out, but I think for now - I will concentrate on drinking my water and getting the exercise in.

Anyway, I'm not officially quitting Weight Watchers, but I'm not going to stress over my point count this week either. Instead, I'm going to try to get the exercise in, drink the water and see how that works. I'll let you know...

Until next time~

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Setting Goals and All that Jazz

While thinking about some ideas to get on track, I realized that tomorrow is the 22nd. That will make it approximately 7 months (or 8, depending on how you count) until my birthday.

Yep, my birthday is in February and I'll be hitting that big 5-0.

Since I have blown my plans for being at my goal weight by that time (which would mean I have to lose 140+ pounds), I had to rethink things a bit. I finally decided that instead of shooting for what is now an impossible goal, I would try something that is still within my reach.

50 pounds by the time I turn 50. That's 6 to 7 pounds a month. In theory, I should be able to lose more than that by then, but still gives me a bit of a margin since Thanksgiving and Christmas will roll in toward the end of the year.

Meanwhile, I did go by the gym/fitness center. I got a free pass for seven days. I'm going to give it a try and then evaluate how comfortable I am there. I wish they had a women's only section, but it's just one big room with cardio stuff toward the back (which includes the treadmills) and the free-weight stuff toward the front (where the macho men hang out).

Anyway, that's the plan. I'll switch my WW day to Wednesday and basically give myself a do-over as if I'm just starting. I may also try a WW meeting, but haven't quite decided yet. If I'm not careful with my time, I'll stretch myself too thin and all the balls I'm juggling will drop out of the air. WW day and a goal date of February.

Let's do this!

Until next time~

Monday, July 20, 2015

Monday Musings: Seven Month Stretch

Today begins Week 19 of my Weight Watchers journey. I have nothing to show for it except a two pound weight gain.

Obviously, I'm not working the plan. I have plenty of excuses for this. Stress. Not enough time in the day to follow the plan. A lack of planning. Getting thrown off track by the hubby wanting some kind food or another that has a bazillion points in it...

The truth though is that I simply haven't been able to commit to losing weight. At times, I haven't wanted to lose weight.

It's too much trouble.

It takes too much energy or

...I just don't care.'s the thing. On Wednesday, it will be exactly seven months until my birthday. When I joined Weight Watchers, the goal was to have as much of the weight off as I could before that big day in February. But...up until now...I've blown it. I've half-tried or not tried at all. I've made a little progress and then slipped big time. I would rather eat junk all weekend than go down a size. I just haven't wanted to commit.'re at that point of no return. If I get on board, I think I could reasonably lose between 50 and 60 pounds. Maybe more. If I don't...well, I'll still be hanging around at this size or maybe weigh even more.'s put up or shut up. It's time to either get off the fence or learn to love myself at this weight.

I've decided that today I will go see about the gym I've been looking into. I am suppose to get a free pass and if that works out, I could start exercising on Wednesday and officially kick off the plan (again). I would reset my weigh-in day to Wednesday, which would probably help things a bit too. I may even try to make it to a WW meeting. I'm still undecided about that.

Anyway, it's time. It's time to get serious. It's time to commit to doing it. It's time to start doing something for me.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Finish Line Friday: Struggling

I'm struggling this week.

I really thought that taking four days off from work (writing) last week would help me kind of get it together, but on Monday it was right back to the same ole, same ole.

I didn't track this week again. I briefly (fleetingly) thought about exercising, but yeah...that didn't happen either.

I see all these people on the Weight Watchers Facebook page post their transformation photos and I want that so much for myself, but I can't seem to truly commit to making it happen. What is wrong with me?

I think about joining a gym and I've even went so far as to order two pairs of Danskins pants so I would have more options to wear, but then I think about all the times I have tried stuff like that before (gyms and exercise equipment...) and I end up convincing myself that it will be a waste of money.

I don't know, maybe I'm channeling the thought of The Hubby. His "wasting money" comments lately have been making me feel like..."why bother?"

I know. I know.

And...I'm not giving up, but I have to find a way to make myself commit to doing this. To really making it happen and wanting it to above all else.

Anyway, onward we go...

Until next time~ 


Monday, July 6, 2015

Reboot Monday

This is week 17 of my Weight Watcher journey.

This morning, I weighed in at 283, which is one pound less than when I originally started. Obviously, I am not totally on board with the program. In fact, I took an entire week off from tracking last week.

I'm not sure exactly why it is not working for me other than the fact that I am not totally dedicated to this journey. I want to be, but it takes up so much energy and time, then when I blow through my points I just feel like a failure.

I think I'm going to concentrate more on the exercise portion of things. I've ordered two more pairs of Danskins activewear (exercise) pants so that I won't have to worry about getting the pair I just wore into the wash right away after I exercise (otherwise I forget). I also ordered some new bras, so my entire workout outfit will be sitting there ready to go when I am.

I'm still debating about joining a fitness place. There are some other options besides Planet Fitness. I just don't know if they are a good fit for me. I'd rather walk, but with the Georgia heat I'm just not sure if that is an option.

Anyway, still moving forward - just at a slower pace.

Until next time~

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Refocus and Regroup

I have fallen off the proverbial wagon this week.

I know it is just another round of excuses I am coming up with, but after not having an opportunity to plan for this week's menu, I finally decided "scr*w it" and got a few things to eat this week that I have been trying to stay away from. Mainly...pasta and more pasta. I made spaghetti on Monday night and also have macaroni and cheese on the menu for tonight. Both are trigger foods, which means I will eat them until I am stuffed.

Of course, the failure to have a planned menu isn't the actual reason. It's more an accumulation of having your husband telling you that you don't follow through with anything and then telling me that I buy things and then don't use them and that I was wasting money. It was like, as soon as he put the words out there I just gave up. 

You see, we were going to get a BBQ grill for our anniversary. I thought this would be a good way to make some healthy foods (I'm not going to think about the carcinogens that supposedly grilled food can contain) and maybe instead of eating out on Saturday, we would just make it a habit to grill outside instead. This in turn, brought on this long speech by The Hubby in which I was reminded of all these projects that I haven't done and things I say I'm going to do and don't.

And, yeah...he does have somewhat of a point, but I also feel that a lot of it happens because I have that in the back of my mind that I'm going to fail because he said I would. And...yeah, I know that doesn't make sense on a logical level, but after a while when people tell you that you're a failure, you just start believing it.

After that I decided to give myself a week off. Next week, I had planned on becoming a member of Planet Fitness and basically starting over, but now I think I will have to come up with something else since I stopped there to take a tour and discovered that the place is a hangout for the teenage crowd. I just can't see me going up there to walk the treadmill with a bunch of young girls socializing there. I know that Planet Fitness is suppose to be a no-judgement zone, but it didn't feel comfortable, so I know I wouldn't keep going. I am now looking into a couple of other fitness places and am even thinking about how to fit in some walks later in the evening.

Anyway, I will figure it all out, just maybe not this week.

Until next time~