Tuesday Talk Time

280.0

Okay, weigh-in is actually not until tomorrow, but I keep forgetting to do it on Wednesday. I thought about it this morning when I first got up, so stepped on the scale and there you have it. Interestingly, I weighed over the weekend and I got as low as 278.00. I'm glad I'm not ballooning upward since I have been failing miserably with "The Plan."

Anyway, I have a lot on my mind today so just decided to throw some random thoughts out....

1. Today, I actually hid in the bathroom until The Hubby left. I didn't want to hear his "how did you do yesterday" question and even worse he started talking about the phone bill and I could tell we were headed into one of those finance summits he likes to have, so I just basically disappeared until I heard the car pull out of the driveway. (I do realize this is not the sign of a healthy relationship.)

2. Yesterday, I asked him to stop and get some Advil on his way home since we only had two left. Did he do this? No. Did he apologize for not doing this? No. Did he offer to go get them for me? No. I ended up running out to get them myself even though he knew this would make us eat dinner late. I even hinted that it would help if he would at least thaw out the meat in the microwave, but when I returned he was still sitting there on his computer. (Passive-aggressive at its finest)

3. I am 1 1/2 hours behind my work schedule today. I went to bed late because I ate late, so I got up late. It's a viscous cycle and one that I am having trouble breaking.

4. I am not happy. Obviously, you can tell this just by reading some past blog posts, but I am actually acknowledging that I am very dissatisfied with my life. I'm tired of being pushed back into this role where I fail all the time because I keep letting The Hubby get into my head.

5. I acknowledge that I am only a victim because I let myself be one. He's not forcing me to do anything and I can ignore all the comments that he makes. It's just so very easy to let him continue to get to me and I know I deserve better.

6. I'm going to put my big girl panties on and deal with this. I am going to find a way to reinvent myself and get it together....I just need to go have a really good cry first....