Did you miss me?
I guess it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted on here. I just reached a point where blogging about losing weight seemed pointless because....well, I'm not losing any weight.
This past Thursday, however, we finally left for The Hubby's long awaited vacation. Yep, I asked for a two week notice before he booked it, so he....of course...booked it about three days before we were suppose to leave. You just can't make this stuff up....He really IS like that....
He booked a place for us to stay, but that was the end of his planning. He didn't check to see what was open, what we could do, where we could go or even where we would eat. We were in Panama City Beach, which is notorious for businesses closing down after Labor Day.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, it went okay. We arrived at Angelos Steak Pit to discover that they closed at 9 p.m. and it was about 9:30. His plan after that was to wander aimlessly up and down the main street looking for a place that was open. My plan was to pick a place and call to see whether it was open instead of wasting time and having everything close up for the night. In the end, we ate at Longhorn and had steak. Kind of funny because we have one of those restaurants where we live...but...oh, well....
By now, you are probably wondering how the title of this blog post fits into my little tale about our vacation.
Well, here's the thing. First of all, we were in Florida and I was dressed in jeans and mainly wore black t-shirts. Did I mention how hot it was? Yeah, the calendar may say fall, but it is still summer there. At some point during the trip I realized that I am tired of having no cute clothes or stylish clothes or even sexy clothes. I know you can find these types of clothes at the "big girl" stores, but when you reach my size...it's all about comfort and what won't make you sweat.
This point got driven home when we walked around a place called Pier Park. Lots of little boutiques and oddity shops. I was particularly fascinated by one shop called French Charmed. They carry stylish jewelry, a few nick-knacks...and...clothes. Beautiful clothes that I could just see myself wearing...except....the largest size they had was large...and it looked...teeny-tiny.
You see, the skinny person in me wanted those clothes. She wanted the cute little cocktail dress (and I don't even like to wear dresses) and the stylish little sweaters. She is tired of having to schlep off to Lane Bryant's and she is tired of ordering her bras online because she can't find them in a regular store.
Yet, here she sits trapped in a fat body and feeling ugly, defeated, and anything but beautiful.
I don't want to write another one of those "yeah, I'm going to do it THIS TIME...YOU WATCH!" because...let's face it....I've been doing that ever since I started this blog and even I don't believe myself anymore....but...there is a small spark burning. The skinny person in me wants to do this. She is tired of living a half-life and wearing jeans in the summer and looking at clothes that won't fit and knowing people are judging because of how she looks. She wants something better and....strangely...this time the fat person that I am....wants this too....