First, I apologize for being MIA for over a month.
The truth is...I just haven't had anything to say...or rather...anything positive that is.
And...really...I still don't. Not about weight loss anyway.
I'm stuck. I'm like a hamster on a wheel and I can't seem to figure out how to get off. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again...well, then I can safely say I'm insane.
I guess I'm writing this today because I'm procrastinating about starting to write (the paid kind) and thought that maybe...just maybe...if I got my thoughts "out there" I could move past it and get down to business. (Those articles aren't going to write themselves...)
So here goes:
Yesterday, I was reading the emails from a Yahoo group I'm on. All of the people on there sell on eBay (or Amazon). One of the members made a comment about how she knew she should be blogging, but she couldn't figure out what she wanted to say. One of the self-proclaimed eBay gurus (who is part of the group) starts giving her some ideas and then some other people give her ideas, so I thought..."well, here's something I have a lot of knowledge about" so I gave her two or three ideas that I use. The member then comes back...gushes over the ideas of the guru...thanks the others...and totally ignores my comments. WTH?!
I realized at some point earlier today (part of the reason I haven't started writing) is that this seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life. It happens in person. It happens online. It's like I'm mumbling or something and no one hears me.
Then there's the walking buddy that I've talked about in the past. Over the past two months I have been helping her with some pet sits (I ran a pet sitting business in another life) and she hasn't forgotten to pay me, gave my sits to another sitter with a "I know you understand" and then claims to have no time to do anything with me, yet there are postings on Facebook where she and the third wheel (also from previous posts) continue to do this and do that. (Obviously, I'm the third wheel here...)
Anyway, between that and the way my mother's family has treated me (see old posts for that too), I finally realized that I am giving off some kind of vibe that tells people they don't have to respect me. Is this because I am overweight and don't feel good about myself? I don't know. You can't "see" me online, so you have no way to know what I look like...so what am I conveying that makes people treat me that way?
So there's where my thinking is today...thoughts?